Ok, for the record, I was totally skeptical. But hopeful. And excited.
The first thing that threw me off was how freakin' cold it was in the office, which was actually a health food shop. A small one. And we had to pay for parking. Not impressed. I filled out the elaborate questionnaire, which seemed to keep asking the same questions over and over again (maybe to trip me up?) and then the 'receptionist' spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out how to work the coffee machine so rockstar hubby could have some of their 'free organic coffee'. But the coffee machine kept leaking water so I made him stop so we could go upstairs and see the naturopath.
First thoughts? She was fat. I don't use that word lightly, because it's mean, but she was (according to rsh) 320lbs. And she was treating me? Hm...warning signs went up.
So then my feet get put into a foot bath (I can't remember why) and then she had me hold an electode and then check my food/environmental sensitivity issues. And everytime it groaned at me, I was not to have that food for the next 8 weeks. I am currently off of:
turkey, all dairy (including yogurt and sour cream), corn oil, currants, cherry, grapes, plums, cranberries, kiwi, all crustaceans (ocean cockroaches), peanuts, hazelnuts, walnuts, pistachios, flax, chocolate, cocoa, carob, pine nuts, pecans, cabbage, endive, corn, mold, msg, coffee, black and green tea, tobacco (don't smoke), wine, beer, glucose, sugar, molasses, dextrose, artificial sweetener, all wheat, spelt, kamut, quinoa, tofu, basil, pepper, chili, clove, cury, juniper, nutmeg, rosemary, sage and a whole crap load of preservatives.
Then I had blood work done. We had an arguement over which blood type I was, as I think I'm on AB but she swore I was on O, because my blot wouldn't clot. My blood very rarely clots, it's annoying. Anyways, then we looked at my blood under an insanely strong microscope and I got to see all my red blood cells swimming around and my super round white blood cells. And the parasites/worms feeding on my red blood cells. Oof.
So now I have parasites.
So for the next 8 weeks (7 weeks and 4 days to go) I'm on parasite purging drugs and insane vitamins and off all those foods.
I seem to be doing okay. As soon as the appointment was over, I made rsh stop at Starbucks for my last latte. I enjoyed it. And then I had the insane stomachache that has been plaguing me for two weeks.
So I've been going crazy trying to figure out what I can eat. Answer? Not much. Nothing I 'want' anyways. And yes, there is still chocolate in the house. And yes I salivate when rsh comes home with coffee breath. But after the first day of headaches, I'm ok. I can eat without keeling over in pain. But for some reason, my legs hurt. A lot. So I went to the gym to work out, thinking I was just stiff, but I couldn't run. I couldn't use the weight machines. The weights I was 'pumping' was like, 30% of the usual amount. I'm so sore. And my hips hurt. It hurts to lie in bed. What's up with that? Nothing else hurts...it better be a side effect.
And this Sunday we fly to LA for a mission trip to rebuild houses. Should be interesting....
2 comments:
You'll feel better soon, I promise! I know the diet sux, however if it's what your body needs then it needs to be done.
Your naturopath was using Bioresonance, and it works well! The bucket of water is to ground you, or so I've been told. Ours uses copper, I think.
The pain you're feeling is your body detoxifying itself, it'll probably last a few days at most and then be gone. Take it easy on yourself in the meantime, lots of water, gentle walks and sleep.
(((((hugs)))))
thanks lady. the pain is easing up and then attacking again.
do you know i have 50$ in starbucks gift cards and a freebie coupon in my wallet??
and i can't stop drinking water? i'm sucking back like 3-4L a day!
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