Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Rest, Contentment and Peace

hm...so i'm supposed to figure out how to achieve these. because apparently, i am without rest, contentment and peace in my heart. and i believe it. how fabulous of pastor T to point that out.
so now i'm supposed to ask God for rest, peace and contentment. and then just let it happen.
i'm supposed to just be. just be serendipity. just be His daughter. nothing else. no obligations. no routine. no...not being me.
maybe i was trying too hard?
anyone got any verses on these 3?

Monday, October 29, 2007

3 years old and he's broken my heart

now i realize i shouldn't have been reading 'anne of green gables' at 11 o'clock at night. and i do realize i probably shouldn't have been reading the part where marilla laments that anne is moving away and i definitely shouldn't have read the chapter where matthew dies. i'm such a gluttony for punishment.
and so i bawled.
and i couldn't stop.
my poor rock-star husband woke up, very startled indeed, and with his eyes shut yelled out, 'what is the matter?' and me inbetween my pathetic sobs could not help but say, 'it's stupid'. and then i got the lecture about how nothing i think or say is stupid. and then i told him.
"sob, sob, i don't want to get older! i don't want anything to change! i don't want the gaffer to grow up because he'll move away and he won't be in the house everyday and he'll stop talking to me all the time and sob sob sob."
after a prolonged silence of my quivering lip sobs and my shoulders shaking dramatically, i let out a loud snort as i tried to clean the snot from my nose and rock-star hubby says, 'i might seem like i'm sleeping but i'm listening you know'.

and my heart was broken. i wanted to rush into the gaffer's bedroom and wake him up and hug him and cry over him and tell him never to leave me.
oh how tragically pathetic!

i really, really need to stop reading anne of green gables. for goodness sakes i'm starting to talk like her.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

sniff, sniff

can you smell it?
it's around the corner, lurking, playing games with my excitement.
i first discovered it a few weeks ago, but paid no attention. i pushed on. 'too early' i thought and moved away.
but yesterday the dollarama opened in our town. (a very big deal in a town of 9300)and the ailes were full of...
oh the excitement.
i can't stop thinking about it.
getting the tree and decorating it. Christmas music (the most feel good songs ever!), the thousands of Christmas lights all over the house, the warm fires, the hot chocolate or red wine, the baking, the turkey, the pies, the ornaments, the presents, the big thick lovely snowflakes that swirl in the dark sky and kiss your nose...
i can smell it.

so i'm listening to Bing sing, and folding my laundry, looking out at a rainy day.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

my bio

my lovely friend B wrote this lovely bio for my lovely art display....i will be posting it with a pic of me wearing fake teeth.

"Serendipity is really a writer. So grab the paintings before she's famous and they cost way too much. Thank you.

She is an avid garden goddess with an eye drawn to the colours of nature (not the boring brown ones. And certainly not that puce colour. I mean, really, who would like a colour that sounds so close to puke?).

People either love her paintings, or they like brown and puce.

And she's B's friend. B is an aspiring bio writer."


well, it's the song i'm listening to. and i'll tell you right now, i haven't the foggiest what it means. except it has a pretty wicked beat that's awesome for running a 7.0 mile/hour on the treadmill. although i'm not running at the moment because that would be a pretty impressive feat, running, blogging and listening to music. i'd probably make guiness book. i hate that book. don't even get me started on that silly thing.
the funk seems to have disappeared for the moment.
the mornings have been routine, with the gaffer waking at 7am and then returning to bed after a few minutes for being rude or disagreeable or stamping his foot at me. (i'm afraid dance class taught him stamping and he calls it stepping at me as if that would get him out of trouble) it's definitely worth being on top of everything and jumping at every bad display of behaviour, but holy cow is it ever exhausting! but, i have some things to look forward to so i'm rather pleased.
tomorrow he's going to the sitter's and at 2pm i need to be at the ballygiblin's pub in order to hang my paintings. through some strange fluke or God (probably the latter), i got an email from arts club and she asked me to display at the pub. i called her and said i was thrilled to be asked (as i am not known and am not asked to do anything, ever) and she said that the artist who was to be there cancelled at the last minute and when she discussed it with the owner, he suggested me. ( i have no idea how he knew i did that, but we are 'acquaintance/friends') so now i get to hang my pics. i'm...very...nervous. but the worst that could happen is no one likes them right? right.
but my walls are going to be very empty. quite frustrating, but that happens when you're in demand...ha!
friday night hubby is going away for spiritual weekend with the boys and while i will miss him terribly, the gaffer and i will be attending 4 bazaars in c.p. so that will be fun.
and i've been writing Christmas cards for the members at church and i've get to find encouraging verses and listen to Christmas music, so how could that not put me in a good mood?
and there are so many...plans coming up. can't reveal yet.
no i'm not pregnant.

and this afternoon i get to visit b and i haven't seen her forever, so now i'm super excited.
and hopefully next week i'll get to see bee because i haven't seen her forever either. and how can a girl go without seeing good friends? it's enough to make one crazy.

and we're having pesto salmon for supper.
and later...roquefort and wine. oooooohhh!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


hm...so i just read a blog from lovely friend and am considering doing the 'compact for mamas' thing.
which basically is, it seems to me:
-not buy anything new (with exception of health, tissue, and food local as possible)
-reuse what you can
-throw away stuff to de-clutter home.

i'll write more when i figure it all out.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

funk..funky, funk

i make light of it you know, because it is rather funny when you think of it, much later on.
but i am in a funk.

yes, i know i do not have a right to be. i've had many, many amazing things happen to me, not the least being spending time with God.

but i am so...funk.

i've been making myself watch grey's anatomy videos so i can at least do some crying that makes sense, instead of just crying for no good reason. and i must say that blue cheese, olives, grapes and wine taste great with tears. now i'll try chocolate tonight.

why the funk? i only have a few ideas
1-i haven't been away since june. ever since inSPIRE i've needed to go away every two months to reconnect, refocus and reprioritize things. and spend time with God. quietly. at a retreat that makes me yummy, healthy food. where i can sleep as much as i want, walk anywhere i want and look at anything i want.
2- i always get this way this time of year. no idea why. it started...uh...7 years ago when i was diagnosed with depression. thankfully and blessedly, it went away after 6 months. but still funk.
3- trying to do too much. i don't 'feel' like i'm doing too much, but let me write it out and i'll see: shower this friday night at my house, husband not home much lately (obvious for funk), marriage conference at end of november and am helping recruit for it, women's ministry thing on nov 26th, possible shopping date with mom-in-law on my b-day that i don't really want to go to because i can't bloody afford anything in that silly town but it's time together and that she would like, oh yeah, trying to reorganize the house. moving the sitting room into the dining room, the dining room into one end of the living room, but i'm missing my sun room terribly but it's bloody cold in there and will just get worse because the floor isn't insulated and probably isn't a good idea for gaffer to play in there, but i want it back. moving stuff around. trying to throw things out. supposed to write a drama for church function but really really don't want to.
ok, this doesn't sound like much. i'm such a whiner. or is it a winer?
4- still no baby. i don't want one anymore. i have too much i want to do now. lie lie lie.
5-i want to just sit somewhere, uninterrupted and just stare. i stopped at chapters today on my day off (you'd think i'd be recharged but instead i'm just more tired) and i sat there for half an hour staring at nothing. and i thought about nothing. it was brilliant.

or this could all be self-pity. in which case, stop reading so that you'll not think differently of me.

i'm going to listen to moody music now and be all moody while i clean my house.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Roquefort - I'm in love!!!

The mold that gives Roquefort its distinctive character (Penicillium roqueforti) is found in the soil of the local caves. Traditionally the cheesemakers extracted it by leaving bread in the caves for six to eight weeks until it was consumed by the mold. The interior of the bread was then dried to produce a powder.

Roquefort is made from the milk of the Lacaune breed of sheep. It is produced throughout the département of Aveyron and part of the nearby départements of Lozère, Gard, Hérault and Tarn. This area of France is notable for its limestone geology, which dictates what species of grass and wildflowers grow upon it, and thus influences the taste of the milk.

info from internet. wikipedia i think.

i don't know what to tell you. i bought some roquefort the other day to have with rockstar hubby as a snack. (no i didn't eat it on him, just to eat together! yeesh! i love cheese but not that much!) i cut up some fresh organic olive bread, put out some crackers (which were crappy), some almonds, some red grapes and some brilliant red wine from Cattail Creek which is the new lovely winery my lovely winery friend started with his lovely winery wife. if you're ever in the niagara region, i highly recommend stopping by and purchasing a case. you won't regret it. anyways!
i cut a piece with my knife, and it smeared beautifully onto the bread. and i took a bite. oh my gosh.

promise me all of you reading this will go buy some this week and try it!!! it is unbelievable! it is now my new bedtime snack! forget doritos! forget sour cream and chives miss vickie's chips! forget badly salted cheap chips in a thick dip! forget, dare i say it? forget chocolate! this is my new snack!
and i know it has many calories, and i know i am seriously limited by my lactose intolerance (how unfair! how unjust!) but what better way to eat something high in calories that is all natural? you MUST try it!

as a sidenote. we took the gaffer to see ratatouille. brilliant. the rats creeped me out. but do you know what i fell in love with?
the food.
the explanation of the food. seeing the herbs added. the scallops, the tomatoes, the CHEESES!
i must get myself to paris immediately.

yah like that'll happen soon.

Saturday, October 13, 2007


oh yes, i am excited and crazy and thinking and insane and deleriously pleased.

rockstar hubby has struck again.

my lovely man, along with the season's grey's anatomy cd to watch in hot tubbie with laptop (on counter, not in tub) provided a lovely polka dotted bag with tissue paper as well.
i opened it.

isn't this killing you?

it was a book.
yes, another book.

"Literary Agents 2007"

oh yes.
a book chok full of agents, what they are looking for, how to contact them, what they can do for me etc...
oh yes.
and so as i gleefully read the beginning of the book on 'how to use this book' there were many opinions from president of companies, agents etc and i found two of them, read TWO OF THEM that were from a Christian based publishing company, AND it looks like they would be the ones to send my book to.

oh yes. i am being encouraged. and i feel awesome.
now if only i could get my *ahem* friends who offered to read and polish my manuscript, to get on it!
perhaps lattes all around?

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

and so on.

ok, so lunch went really well. i was exhausted at the end of it, and i unknowingly did not wear shoes for the entire time i was in the kitchen standing up (about 6 hours) so i was hurtin' pretty bad. but some lovely red wine from my very good friend A's vineyard (Cattail Creek) and some blue cheese and i was right as rain again. speaking of blue cheese for a moment, i picked up some roquefort at farm boy today. only a sliver because a sliver is 4$ but just enough to wet my palette and perhaps tempt my blue cheese 'fix' that i require every so often.

what i'm thankful for:
-my family. i can't imagine a better family. my rockstar hubby who always thrills me, loves me and makes me crazy and the gaffer who i want to strangle and smother with kisses at the same time. he's seriously my heart walking around outside of my body.
-God. He should have been first in the list. i can't imagine life without Him now.
-my friends. i have really good friends. friends that are Christians too. friends who put up with me and let me put up with them. friends who forgive me when i stick my foot in my mouth (sometimes both, and quite frequently) and friends who don't mind my insane silliness. and friends who don't mind when i call for prayers.
-being a stay-at-home mom. i love it. i hate it. i love it. i hate it.etc.
-my gifts. i love that i can write. and create. and cook. and eat.
i could go on, but i won't. because today's blog is really about:

is there anything sweeter (for the moment) than watching the chickadee's eat with gusto at your feeder? i love it. i love their peeping. and i don't mind the annoying pigeons/doves whatever who eat the bits off the ground. they just need not come calling at 5am.

going to sit in front of the fire now and debate the best way to try making dal. delicious!

Monday, October 8, 2007

thanksgiving monday

so the art show didn't go as well as i had hoped. actually, it didn't go well at all. i think it may have been badly publicized which may factor in the lack of people coming in to see it. and it seemed as though no one was selling anything. so now what? maybe an art show in may. i'll keep painting. although it may be time to work on the writing.
36 people for lunch. i must be out of my mind. my poor rockstar hubby was up many times throughout the night to check on the turkey, as it turns out with the fabulously wonderful pop in the oven frozen kind, they require about 6 hours of cooking. the oven was turned on at 1:45pm yesterday, and was turned off this morning at 2:45am. my goodness. and of course the gaffer waking up to monsters in his bed didn't help either. and then rsh had to get up at 6am to return so-called motorcycle and come home again to help set up.
i had decided not to make pies as was my original plan. my job. my part. as i was not supposed to be making the turkey, and ended up with that job. too much oven work. if everyone else does not bring their fair share of food, they'll have to stop at Timmy's on the way home.
i am however, allowing myself a run this morning as it has occured to me many times, and so much more last night after a dinner of club sandwich and fries, that i am not good to my body.
"...let us purify ourselves of everything contaminating to the body and spirit, in pursuit of holiness in reverence for GOD".
everything contaminating.
more on that tomorrow.
happy thanksgiving.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

the reason rockstar hubby is a rockstar

he's not really a rockstar.
i just want to make that clear.
but he rocks my world and he's amazing at so many things, i can't help but shout out at the top of my lungs, "you're a rockstar!". is there a higher compliment?
(given that you are not referring to the person as a drugged out, washed out, shaving their head, non-panty wearing freak. i mean the cool rockstar)


yesterday was a surprise date. i'm not used to surprises. infact, i usually hate them because i am such a control freak. (no don't argue with me here, i know it's true and i'm working on it)
but i let him surprise me.
gaffer went to mominlaws (lovely lady) and we climbed aboard a borrowed motorcycle. very nice. i made sure i looked the biker chick part of course, with dark red lips, little tank top and tight jeans with hair flowing everywhere. and he looked pretty hot with his messy gray hair.
after having my butt numbed for an hour, we went into the glebe. i snagged a power bar from the running room. then we drove somemore. and we pulled up to a club. a tennis, lawnbowling, pool club. a swanky one, in the glebe.
we were going to play tennis.
i know this sounds ridiculous, but i have always wanted to play tennis. and he and i had decided that we would never be a 'golf couple' because neither of us can stand it. ( i must brag at this moment, that i am most excellent at golf, but i find it bloody boring) so we decided we'd be a tennis couple. and so we played tennis.

and i looooooved it.

it was amazing! the quick running, the quick stopping, the smashing the ball, your muscles screaming at you, the laughter, missing the ball...i loooved it. i'm addicted.

we were then supposed to go to wakefield, but given it would be an hour and 40 minute drive home on the bike, i said no. my butt hurt enough and my neck was rather sore from keeping my head still in the harsh wind. (it was rather windy on the highways yesterday) so i opted for a nap. and i napped. i haven't been able to nap in forever. too much in my brain. so i napped.
then we climbed into the car, grabbed a starbucks and toured bayshore. i love walking and talking and malls.
and then pizza for dinner.

i am reminded so many times of his love for me. he's amazing. to the vogues and glamour magazines he surprises me with, to lattes, surprise dates, flowers...surprises...
i totally scored on this one.