Tuesday, April 29, 2008

that's mah boy

we had an issue the other day at the gym, where gaffer was hitting people with his smedley (a stuffed blue dog). then he picked up a school bus and threatened a little girl with it saying: move or i'll smash your face.


so after some careful deliberation, rockstar hubby and i realized that those lines are used in 101 dalmations. gotta love disney. so we decided, no more. he can't watch anything except for blues clues, dora, veggietales and robin hood.

this morning gaffer asked about 101 dalmations. i said he couldn't watch it.

g: why not?
me: because they say bad things and that makes you say bad things
g: why?
me: because that's what tv does. it influences us to do things we don't normally do.
g: i'm going to tell the tv to stop doing that.
me: ok buddy.

he leaves.
two seconds later he's in the sunroom talking to the tv set.

g: ok tv. you have to stop saying bad things because then i say bad things like, i'm gonna smash your face with a school bus. no more tv. you only say good things. ok? ok.

if only it were that easy..

Thursday, April 24, 2008

let them eat cake

a labour of love for my sister-in-law (who incidentally, has the same name as i) and my neice for tomorrow's b-day party.
white cake with french vanilla icing, 4 layers.
i biked 6 miles to the nursery, to purchase especially beautiful viola, in which i washed and applied.

they'd better appreciate it...

Saturday, April 19, 2008

don't pee into the wind

gaffer and i had just come home from a busy day. we decided to play in the circle across from our house. he'd ride his bike, i'd put away the Christmas tree on our front lawn. as we came into the house to dump our many bags, i asked him to go pee first. he agreed. as he talked to me about peeing, (what else do 3 year olds talk about?) i could hear his voice, but it was far away. then from the kitchen, i heard a loud shriek of laughter. as i ran to the front door, i saw gaffer, standing outside in the front yard, with his pants down, his little white bum looking at me. the neighbour across the street, was unfortunately, encouraging him. i yelled at him to come back inside to pee.
we then called daddy who explained that you only pee outside in the forest, or in the park if you can't find a bathroom...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

voulez vous couche.....?

ok, so the reason i woke up in a big fat snit was because as i rolled over at 6am, the sun was IN MY FACE. it hasn't been in my face for awhile because i had two towels hanging over a curtain rod in the window. i took one down.

the sun was in my face. gaffer was singing. it took every ounce of strength in me not to sit up and yell "SHUT UP!!!!" instead i said very pleasantly, 'Be quiet please!' and lay back down. to the sun in my eyes.

and then it happened.

the pity party came waaaaaaaaay too early in the morning.

"i am 34 years old and i have towels covering my windows, how is it that i'm 34 and i have a little bit of new furniture and my house looks like a dorm and i dress in second hand clothes and i try to be careful with money, and why is it so hard to kick this latte habit and I DESERVE CURTAINS!!!!"

so i got out of bed and had a hot shower for 20 minutes.

i walked back into the bedroom, glared at my husband and with as much posture as i could keep straight, with soaking wet hair, i announced, 'i am going to zellers today to buy curtains for the window". i think something in my posture, or maybe my voice, although it could have been the wet towel barely covering me, allowed my gracious rockstar hubby to reply, 'Of course'.

and i did.

i am now the proud owner of sexy red and gold thick curtains with a gold wrought iron curtain rod with a leaf at the end. i bought two for the two windows and they were half price.

i am satiated.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

frankly my dear....

i do give a damn.

sigh. i spent 6 1/2 hours today on my butt in a vaguely comfortable chair at starbucks, sending out 20, count them, 20 query letters to 20 different agencies.
i've receive 2 back already saying no. not even interested.

i'm not to care. i shouldn't care. but i care.

i should be excited that richard blackaby might be reading my novel. dang, did i spell his name right? i've had a glass of rose so i'm a little tipsy. i think it's contributing to my crab-on.

so why should i mind?

cause i do. she says in a small voice, hiding from under her heavy duvet.

Monday, April 7, 2008

to the mattress...

i went on a much needed date saturday night with rockstar hubby. the tree work has picked up fabulously so he ended up working his long shift with tree work in between. he spent saturday screwing down someone's barn roof so it wouldn't blow away in our insane winds. so we went out.
we decided to hit up bayshore and just walk around. i had the promise of a present as we toured stores. we always go to the bay first, and we found nothing. then to different stores, ie, bombay company, gap, jacob, tristan, and mexx for kids. then we went to bentley as they were having a huge sale on wallets and purses. i have a wallet. i have a great wallet. but it was given to me 4 years ago by my mom-in-law when she didnt' want it anymore. i liked it because it had a wallet side and a daytimer side. but i didn't really use the daytimer side anymore because my day basically consists of 'what can i do to amuse gaffer today?' so i found a fabulous wallet. and then i saw the purses. i like purses. but i'm pretty anal about them. it's like shoes. i looooove shoes. but i don't like a lot of the styles out there. it takes me at least a month before i decide on a pair that i need. so i have been looking for a purse. a purse that would be stylish enough to last, yet big enough. big enough for my bible, wallet (new), pens, handcream, water bottle and possibly food. but it had to be organized with pockets to hold tampons, phone, keys etc. and it had to zip up so the rain wouldnt' get into it. and it had to be comfortable to carry over my shoulder, or in my hand. and it can't be a backpack because i wanted something pretty.
and i found it.
it's fabulous. it's actually a business case, but it looks like a big purse. and it's awesome. and it was on sale. so awesome fabuloso hubby bought both. what a doll. i was tickled pink. and i had a hard time accepting it was just a present. 'oh i'll give up lattes until this is paid off!' i said. and he just hugged me. 'you owe me nothing,' he said. i know it's a ridiculous conversation to have, but we are trying to becareful of finances so i'm trying to limit myself to fabulous presents of 3$ mousse that will make my hair lovely.

but then we went back to the bay, via the 3rd floor. hubby wanted to show me what lcd, uh...ltd...uh... those big tv's that look real. hd? and then we passed the beds. being me, i had to lie down on them with all of their pillows. i noticed they were very uncomfortable and it was just for show. then we passed mattresses. so i looked at all of them and lamented the fact that our mattress was crap. it's 10 years old and it was at someone's cottage. and it's hard and uncomfortable but it's all we can afford. oh go buy another, they aren't expensive! i've been told. but it's my sleep! i need a good one. so i chose one and lay down. not bad! then i picked the most expensive mattress. for a queen, it was 4000$. it better be good. i lay down. i was enveloped into a cloud. i started to cry. rockstar hubby lay down too. i told him to twitch. he did. i didn't feel anything. then i had tears coming down my face. 'what's the matter babe?' he asked. i couldn't explain. all of a sudden i had these thoughts, these emotions. of...sadness, of want, of need. i imagined having sleeps at night where i didn't wake up every half hour to roll over because my arm fell asleep. or every five minutes from twitching. or punching hubby for still snoring because he has to sleep on his back because his arms fall asleep. of not feeling stiff. of being comfortable and not spending the night tossing and turning. of not having anymore headaches from being uncomfortable.
i looked at him sadly.
'i have to have this bed.'
and he understood. we looked at the price tag.
'do you think you could not have garden sheds this year?' he asked.
i nodded.
'we wouldn't be able to go away for two more years.' he said.
i nodded. i know. and as much as i want to go away....
'we won't do the porch this year either' i said.
he nodded.
'maybe if there's anything left over from backpay' he said.
'the bed lasts 15 years' the salesman said. 'warrantied for 10'.
i sighed sadly.

i've never had a good bed. i've never had a comfortable bed. we could never afford it. my parents could never afford it. i always had handmedown beds. i had to have a good bed.
'we'll have to get the king size.' i said.
rockstar hubby raised his eyebrows.
'for any other kids we have. do you think we'll be able to keep them out of the bed?'
'good point' he sighed.

'let's start saving'.

Thursday, April 3, 2008


it has just occured to me that with my two query letters i forgot to include my phone number and address.


ah well, live and learn.

famous words from gaffer

me: gaffer, get undressed please. get bare naked.
gaffer (rather haughtily): I'm not a bear!

gaffer has a stuffed dog named smedley. he explained today that:
smedley has a door on her butt to let all the puppies in and out.

me: a door on her butt?
gaffer: yes, two doors. one for in and one for out.

the day before:
gaffer: smedley is very hungry.
me: so what is she going to eat?
gaffer: she's going to eat hot chocolate, juice, and water from my tummy.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

and so on...

today was indeed an interesting day. rockstar hubby went from nightshift at fire hall to tree job in town. i dropped gaffer off at mary poppins (sitter) and went to favourite bookstore to write.
i have been working on second book and it's going rather well. i have a lot of short stories/chapters and i need to add more, edit more and then figure out how it will all go together. maybe print them all off and try paste? i expect it will be an emotional ride as some of it is extremely personal and i need to transport myself back to some of those 'feelings' and actions and that i have regretted, yet forgiven myself for. but it'll be strange because i need to 'feel' those emotions again in order to give a realistic portrayal. ah, the artist certainly does suffer. i'll need to pray for protection as i write.

at noon went to library, then sally anne where i spent ten dollars on prezzies for new goddaughter, e.g. i adore this little monkey and if i could eat her up, i would. am wondering what it will be like to have a daughter of my own one day. as doc said, my eggs have an expiration date. why do i feel like a hunk of hamburger?

then met rockstar hubby for an impromptu meal for 45 minutes at east sides where i ate salad with too much dressing. we had a quick walk and off he went, back to work. i'll be seeing him possibly tomorrow evening. maybe.

when i picked up gaffer, i was met by a child who looked like mine but was wearing completely different clothes. upon questioning i discovered that he had pooped the bed. my child does not poop the bed. he's only had one accident and that was when he had the flu (if i had the flu that ferociously, i would have pooped my bed too). but apparently he was quiet at naptime and then screamed bloody murder and the poop was everywhere. in his hair, on his face, all over the sheets, all over his clothes. and he had removed his underwear with the poop in them and placed them neatly on the bedside table. mary poppins' son will never know about it as she is keeping it secret that gaffer slept in his bed. after much more questioning, i believe gaffer did not understand that he could get out of 'her' bed to go to the bathroom as he was 'trying to hold it in'. poor kid. however when we got home, nana and papa came by to take him out for ice cream so my child is now in bed, very late and full of ice cream and fruit which he consumed at dinner. i am a terrible, terrible mother. ah well. if he pukes it up the neurotic dog will enjoy dessert (EWWWWWW!!!!)

am perusing more agents now and have decided to make a comprehensive list which i can hold in my hands. i have decided also to stay away from agents that are looking for middle-aged books as well as erotica, dark edgy fiction and paranormal romances involving vampires. i do not want to associate my lovely book with people like them. humph. humph.

incidentally i have used the 'drysol' for two days now and have slept uncomfortably with saran wrap in my armpits. as i shopped at sally anne, i noticed it was incredibly warm in there and was sweating down my back, my front etc. when i tried on a shirt i noticed that i was sweaty. but my armpits were ... bone....dry. weird.