let the doubting begin...

I've been on this crazy diet for 6 days now. I have 7 weeks and 2 days to go. I don't think I'll make it. And do you know why?
Because I don't know how anyone can live like this.

I'm doubting what the naturopath saw in my blood sample. But when I look for info on line, they tell me the same thing. But the 'parapurge' I'm taking tells me to eat whole grains. But she tells me not to eat wheat. So I don't understand. I don't understand, I don't understand.

I bought two more recipe books and they seem a bit better. It is so hard to find anything on line. It's a lot of researching and chasing down leads and I'm not getting paid to do it, so it's exhausting. I'm trying a cinnamon-raisin-nut bread made with bean flour, tapioca and cornstarch. I'm not 'supposed' to have corn, but I figured it took me about 20 minutes just to make the thing and it was only to need an hour to rise, but it hasn't risen so I turned the light on in my oven and hopefully it'll rise...if I eat it and get sick, I won't eat any more. Rice bread is just so disgusting.

And I'm angry. And I'm tired. And grouchy. And irritable. And sad. This blows.