why oh why oh why do i torture myself with clothe shopping? seriously? i mean, so i go to value village today and i fill my cart. just fill it. what am i looking for? shorts. and t-shirts. that's it. and of course because the clothing industry will NOT come together on the whole one size means one size, i have to choose a bunch of different sizes. i varied between a 9 and a 13. for shorts. for t-shirts, i had to stick with large and x-large. due to my large lats. or back. or whatever it is. it certainly has nothing to do with the size of my rack. i tried on, are you ready for this? i tried on 20 pairs of shorts. i tried on 30 t-shirts.
shorts: couldn't get them up my hips. got them up my hips but they wouldn't do up. they did up but they were too big. did up, not too big but had this strange...poop in front of my crotch. seriously. what is that poof for? i checked the label to see if they were men's shorts, and they weren't. how am i supposed to fill in a poof in a pair of shorts? i could have shoved a couple pairs of socks down there. or even a fanny pack. maybe that's what it's for. you wear those shorts on holidays, and while you're pretending not to be a tourist, because you will definitely be accosted, you shove your fanny pack in the poof so it looks more natural and you've got your passports and travellers cheques hidden. but it still makes you look like you've tucked your entire belly, including your boobs into your poof area!
i bought one pair of shorts. they are men's gap shorts. and i have to cut out the back pockets because for some reason they are a thicker fabric than the rest of the shorts, and make my bum look weird with all the lines.
t-shirts: why oh why oh why do we live in an era of tight t-shirts? i don't want a tight t-shirt. i want a nice shirt. a shirt that fits well. one that leaves me loose around my belly area so if i'm feeling chubby or have eaten too much, i can hide that. or at least loose enough to hide the poof from my shorts. and no i don't want it see-through and i don't want it so tight around my chest that you could bounce quarters between my boobs. i don't want ridiculous little sayings like 'i'm hot and you're not' and 'naked lifeguard on duty' on my chest. (how could you wear a naked lifeguard on duty t-shirt and still be naked?) and i don't want a t-shirt that cuts my neck circulation off, nor do i want it falling off my shoulders. or plunging deep down to show off my bellybutton. i am not j-lo.
i bought 3 t-shirts.
i need to learn to make my own clothes. because i don't think they sell clothes for normal people out there. i'd like to complain and say, 'who wears a size 0?' except i've seen those girls and it's taken everything in me not to hold them down (like it would be hard) and forcefeed them a lasagna. but to have shirts that were actually flattering (in my way) and shorts that actually fit my bum, and actually fit my waist and not balloon out. and fit my legs for crying out loud!
anyone know how to teach me to sew?
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