knowing

You know how sometimes you just ‘know’ something? Regardless of what anyone tells you, even if that person is incredibly close to you, and you value their opinion a lot, if they disagree or try to pull you away from something, you just don’t listen?

The subject in question would be my book. I leave in 16 days to go to Guelph to the writer’s conference. I have signed up for some amazing writing courses, held by amazing authors and speakers. I have signed up for a manuscript critique that will last only 15 minutes. I get to sign up for a one on one with publishers and editors where I have basically 30 seconds to pitch my book. Zondervan is going to be there for goodness sakes, both the U.S. and Canada publishing company. And the beauty of this conference, is that it is being held by Christians. Which means I can pitch my book the way it was written. As to why it was written. It was written because 1) God told me to and 2) because there aren’t enough Christian kids’ books out there. And the ones that are out there are crap. Actually I won’t be saying that part. I’ll just say that there needs to be more diversity, so that non-Christians will pick up the literature as well and incorporate new thoughts and beliefs into their hearts and minds. And I get to go by myself. I haven’t gone anywhere by myself in a very long time. So I’ve dog-eared the Starbucks on my map for the 6 hour drive. Regardless, I’m getting off topic.

So I’ve written my book, and I’m ecstatic it’s done. I have enough doubts pop into my head, I don’t need to fuel the fire. And I have some very well meaning friends. But one in particular is standing out today, and it’s really bothering me. When I told her about my book and that it was almost finished (a few months ago) and that I was seeking publishers and I knew it would be hard etc.. and she could have said: good for you! Or ‘wow, I’m so proud of you!’ or even ‘Can I read it?’ (always my favourite) But no. What she said was, ‘Well, maybe it just won’t be published until after you’re dead.’

?????

I really didn’t know what to say to her, but I respect her very deeply and I said something like ‘huh’.

I probably should have said: ‘you are not making my heart feel very special right now’. (something I’ve taught the gaffer to say, even though it sounds kinda weiny-ish) or I could have said, which I what I probably should have said, as it is something I would most likely say, is: ‘you mean, good job! I’m so proud of you! Aim for the moon! You can do it! It’s God’s work so it’ll be blessed!’

But I didn’t.

So I guess I’m just writing this not to tell people to stop ‘stepping on my mojo’ (seriously, what does that mean??), but to stop discouraging people! These are their dreams! We don’t need crabby crabs like you who are incapable of believing six impossible things before breakfast to talk to us at all! Blah blah! Nyah!

Ok, that’s all.