Tuesday, May 6, 2008

storytime!!! Bruce the Vegan Lion

Once in a dark forest, there was a lion named Bruce. Bruce was not just any lion, Bruce was a vegan lion. Now, I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous to have a lion named Bruce, but Bruce's mother could not be reached for comments. And his father ate the reporter, so we decided to just ask Bruce himself, once we could get close enough.
Anyways, Bruce believed that harming animals in any method was morally wrong and Bruce had lots of morals. Unfortunately, Bruce was aschewed by his peers, so Bruce moved to the city.
Bruce didn't really like the city. But he got a job at Environmentalists R Us and was forced to have his teeth filed down. His coworkers were a littler nervous around him and that did not go over well with public relations.
Bruce was an active environmentalist. He was able to get many people to see the errors of their ways. People stopped eating meat products, violence ended, equality was reached with men and womyn (typo that Bruce fixed), people recycled, composted, and found new ways to run machinery on banana peels and coke (not Pepsi). The world was becoming a better place.
Unfortunately because all of my stories end with the main character dying no matter how wonderful they are, Bruce was kidnapped by corrupt politicians (as if they aren't all corrupt as it is!) and dipped him into a vat of melted recycled plastics.
However the writer and many others believe Bruce's spirit lives on throughout the word whether by a young child throwing his coke (not pepsi) can into a recycling bin or by a veal farmer keeping all of his cows as pets.

1 comment:

futsaldreamer said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I love it !!