now i get it.

i know why women of a certain age (a-hem) wear dresses all the time.

so i go shopping yesterday, at sally anne of course, looking for pants. not jeans, but pants. just loose, comfy, can wear anywhere pants that are not jogging pants. know the kind i mean?

many moons ago (pre-child) i was of perfect body. not in that it was perfect, but that i could go into a store and pick out a 6-8 and it would fit. no problem. now?

i tried on 40 pairs of pants. i'm not kidding. the lady working there offered me a cart because i had so many pairs of pants. i do not know what size i am. for some reason, there is a conspiracy happening in the fashion industry where they keep changing sizes. ralph lauren's size 6 is jacob's size 10. reitmans' size 10 is tristan and iseut's size M. it hurts my head trying to figure it all out. so what did i do? i pulled out 40 pairs of pants, ranging from sizes of 9-14. just to be safe. and i did hold them up against my waist first to see if they would fit and if they would be long enough.
40 pairs of pants.

ok. so a pair would fit in the waist, but would be too short. or fit in the waist but then there is this strange balloon at my lower belly waiting to be filled. what goes there? my secret fanny pack for travelling? am i supposed to push my belly flab down to my crotch and tuck it into that air pocket? or a pair would fit well in my butt and tummy but they are so tight around my thighs the circulation is being cut off (can i brag here that i can squat 215lbs?). or i'll find a pair that look gorgeous on my legs, and on my bum, but they don't do up. or a pair that finally fit but the waist is up at my boobs and i've got on a pair of 'mom-pants'. you know them. the ones that are so high up that the pockets are on top of the bum and give a lovely droopy showing below. but at least your gut is tucked in. so then i try on a pair that are low rise and fit fine. until i try to bend over or sit down and my entire crack is exposed. no success.

and then it hits me. skirts. long, lovely, thick skirts. i can do this. a long skirt with tights or tall socks and comfy shoes. but i don't have tights. or tall socks. or comfy shoes that would go with skirts. no matter. i'm trying them on.

i tried on 12 skirts that were acceptable length. i found one. i was very happy. denim. went to my ankles. with a slit up the back. perfect. just like a comfy pair of jeans. i'll buy a pair of socks and wear running shoes. fine. all for 4$
so i get to the line-up.
and after waiting 5 minutes for the cashier to wrap the 5th tea cup of the 40 being bought by a little old lady, i left. i'll go back tomorrow.

but this is where my revelation comes in.

i rented 'three coins in a fountain' last night. haven't finished it. set in rome. in the 50's i think. the three women are wearing skirts. but their skirts do up very high in the waist with a tight belt. and their short button up shirts are tucked in. and their skirts flare past their knees.
they figured it out. where the skirt up high to accentuate the curves, to hide the flab to show long legs.
i think it might be time to switch to skirts. in between wearing jogging pants that is.
now i just need shoes....