busy time

so i'm in this writing contest this weekend. a three day writing contest. three days to write a novel...
what on earth am i going to write about?

i started a short story about my grandmother awhile ago, called 'the blue suitcase'. i'm wondering if i can take it, dissect it and expand on it...another 100 pages perhaps? is that even possible? i've never had so much time to write before in one sitting. it's rather...nerve racking.
but i figure i'll be parked at my favourite writing spot in starbucks, i'll have a friend with me, who is competing as well. i'll pack my workout clothes in case i need some energy and the gym is so close by. i'll pack nuts and yogurt and bring change for lattes, and i'll even read the magazines in the rack at the chapters if i'm super stuck and bored. with a friend there, i can leave my laptop unattended for hours on end, provided he doesn't take off. we'll have to have a system of somekind. i wish i had wireless in my laptop, but that would probably distract me more than anything...

gaffer and rockstar hubby are taking their first camping trip this weekend. i'm a little nervous as there is canoeing and sleeping in tents. i'm sure they'll be fine...but i'm still nervous. although it'll be lovely to have the house to myself tomorrow night. heavy sleep for all! maybe.

on the creative front: have picked up a lovely blue for my park bench. have completed another painting. have started another. countdown for the artshow...i should beg Bee to send me the pics she took of them so i can post them...perhaps.

good weekend to all! will update tomorrow!

i'm so far behind on this

oh the guilt of an non-updated blog! oh the torment of not letting everyone know what's going on in my life! for all the people that actually read this....i think there are 5 of you, my deepest apologies!

update time:

had the garage sale. it did really well, but i expected to get rid of more junk. however, i now have a new bike! i am 8 years old again riding that thing. it's name is the 'dirt pig'. it's a hideous 70's brown, it's a 'free spirit' from sears many eons ago. it has a big seat, it rattles when i bike down the road, absolutly no shocks so i got a big fat seat for my bum, and it has one speed. i adore it. all i want to do is tour now.in comfort. in the dirt pig.

finished my book. oh yes. happy days. now comes the fun part of editing. oh the editing. i need a break.

writing contest this weekend. gotta write a novel in three days. can i do it? probably. do i know what to write about? not really. should be interesting.

am having company for breakfast. house is messy. aaaaaa! i should probably clean!
more later.

i have a secret

no, i'm not pregnant...yeesh.

Where the Green Grass Grows - Tim McGraw

Six Lanes, tail lights
Red ants marching into the night
They disappear to the left and right again

Another supper from the sack
A ninety-nine cent heart attack
I've got a pounding head and an achin' back
My Camels buried in a big straw stack

I'm gonna live where the green grass grows
Watch my corn pop up in rows
Everynight be tucked in close to you
Raise our kids where the good Lord's blessed
Point our rocking chairs towards the west
And plan our dreams where the peaceful river flows
Where the green grass grows

Well I'm from a map dot
A stop sign on a black top
I caught the first bus that I could hop from there
But all of this glitter is getting dark
There's concrete growing in the city park
I don't know who my neighbors are
And there's bars on the corner and bars on my heart

I'm gonna live where the green grass grows
Watch my corn pop up in rows
Everynight be tucked in close to you
Raise our kids where the good Lord's blessed
Point our rocking chairs towards the west
And plan our dreams where the peaceful river flows
Where the green grass grows

i love this song. don't get me wrong, i love where we live. i love my neighbourhood, i love that i can bike everywhere and soon with all the box stores opening, life will be easier. but...
the forest. the smell of wet leaves, the boiler going with smoke hanging in the air making my clothes on the line all smelly like clean smoke. the gravel roads, the cows across the street. oh dear, here comes the remembering...

the bike i'm dreaming of...only 229$

as i make toast and contemplate boxes...

it just occured to me:

kicked out at 19, moved to ottawa in a house.
three months later, moved to another house.
three months later, moved to another house.
three months later, moved back home for the summer.
that fall, moved to residence in thunder bay.
that summer, moved to travis's house in thunder bay.
next summer, moved to Hadashville Manitoba, population 300.
that fall, moved into another house with a girlfriend in thunder bay.
that summer, moved home.
that fall, moved back to travis's house in thunder bay.
that summer, moved home.
that fall, moved to Kemptville residence.
that summer, moved to Constance Bay with rockstar hubby.
that fall, moved to Pakenham.
that March, moved to Ottawa downtown.
next March, moved to in-laws.
that December, moved into homemade rockstar hubby built house in Franktown.
4 years later, in October, moved to the glebe.
three months later, moved to Bells Corners.
one year later, moved to where we are now.

i've moved 20 times in 14 years.

no wonder i can't settle here yet. nothing feels like mine. it's so hard getting rid of stuff i had at the other 'homes'. will this place feel like 'home' soon? i hope so.

stuff like that.

yes, i know i haven't written in awhile. vacation is lovely. it's actually the first vacation with all of us that i've actually thoroughly enjoyed. the year the gaffer was born, i was stressed to have him at the cottage. of course i had no idea what to do and how to do it and no one would relieve me of my exhaustion and frustration. last year we went to logos land and slept in a tent. what on earth was i thinking? this year, back to the cottage. it was brilliant. gaffer could walk around on his own, he learned some swimming, rockstar hubby got to fish with him, we went for walks...it was awesome. could not have asked for a better time, except better weather. am debating staying at cottage for full month next year...hm...
thoughts going on:
do i really want another child?
how will i ever go through all of these boxes and have everything reading for garage sale on saturday?
how will i ever have enough paintings in time for thanksgiving weekend?
can someone please tell me how i managed to schedule thanksgiving dinner at my house with my husband working that night?
what on earth am i going to do with all of these tomatoes?
why did i not work on my book?

stuff like that.

why i love my husband

this is why i love my rock-star hubby:

1-he makes me laugh. all the time. very hard. hard enough to get hiccups. hard enough to pee my pants. hard enough to punch him because my stomach hurts so much.
2-he knows how to make me laugh.
3-he knows what makes me happy.
4-he fusses over me. i like that. most of the time. otherwise i tell him to go away.
5-he puts up with me.
6-he doesn't yell at me in public. actually he never yells at me. ever.
7-he doesn't speak condescendingly to me. ever. especially not in front of other people.
8-he doesn't criticize me. ever.
9-he doesn't drink beer in the afternoons and then get the stupid slur-on.
10-he's not lazy
11-he doesn't get drunk. he rarely drinks. and if he does, it's wine with me.
12-he takes care of his body.
13-he takes care of my body.
14-he doesn't make fun of me or my dreams.
15-ah crap, i could go on forever....

Renoir

The exhibit was brilliant. Exhausting, way too many paintings at once, to cram into an hour and a half, but brilliant. the audio was fabulous. loved the kids' version. this is definitely one of my favourites. you could feel the waves coming down on you. as though you were really there.
i loved seeing the brush strokes, seeing as how he would mix reds into the blues to make contrast and draw your eye to the brightness of it. brilliant guy. could have stayed there all day examining, extracting and appreciating.

farmhouses, cleaning, packing and garage sales.

thinking about the new 'gothic farmhouse' look. however, not having a farmhouse, am not quite sure what to think. love the black accents. which i have begun to try. would i be happy with it? i figure if i keep it kitchzy (sp?)it'll be ok.

am trying to clean the house. it's not working. probably because i have a sewing machine on my table, stuff to sew on the chairs, boxes i'm going through for the garage sale in three weeks, the gaffer's toys everywhere (why put them away when they'll be out again in less than 12 hours?), laundry to fold, meals to plan for the week away at the cottage...watering my lovely tomatoes...
will clean until 8. then will plan next paintings. maybe.

complain,complain,complain

not that any good'll come of it.
1. why doesn't anyone believe me when i say i'm not well? i really am unwell. (doctors mostly)
2. why do i have to wait another two weeks to find out if the ultrasound shows anything wrong? oh yeah, because my doctor took the month off. peachy.
3. why is the gaffer so bad at the sitter's? he's brilliant at home. shouldn't it be the other way around?
4. why do i no longer have a desire to garden? is it because it's so bloody hot out?
5. why am i so...restless? i want to do so much but i don't want to do anything.
6. i'm too restless to complain anymore.